Goodbyes and Farewells

If it's one thing that I hate doing, is seeing a close person leave.

It's never easy to say goodbye.
It's never easy to tell the person how he/she meant in your life.
It's never easy to contain the sadness.

Now that you're leaving, and know that I might not be there to see you off,
but I'll always treasure the values you've instilled in me.

All the best Jo.

Thanks for everything.

See you in a few years.

sigh.

I'm pretty sure I'm male. Hmm.

moving on.

Hello, good morning, how You do?
What makes Your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is a way, that I say I need You
This is a way
This is a way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how You been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I how would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
These abundant skies
Yeah, abundant skies, yeah

This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I'm Yours
This is a way
This is a way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Yes I'm dying to breathe in
These abundant skies
These abundant skies, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm learning to breathe
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how You do?
How You do?
How You do?

----------------
Listening to: Switchfoot - Learning to Breathe

Chance

Every time that I want to start writing a blog post, it would start off with a few sentences. If it's related to the topic or not, I can't remember. But I do remember this.

I will get distracted and do other things.
I will get lazy and just delete the post entirely.
I will get a writer's block and also delete the post entirely.

Right now, I just need to release. Before time reaches its final hour and I get lazy again.

I'm not a person to write about daily events on my blog, but thoughts or worries that linger in my mind or something that touched me.

Right now, it's impossible to write down everything I've felt for the last several years. If I could describe it, it's a giant tidal wave of emotions; pain, joy, hurt, regret, happiness. We should have been destroyed long ago.

Right now, I can't help but feel helpless.

Maybe time can't heal everything.

But I'm not ready. I'm not ready to lose everything.

Lord, I ask again, I plead.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

I wrote that post several months back, and wonder what made me write this. If I look back even further, I realized my past was a complete different person. I didn't even recognize myself.

There are several things I find interesting, why we feel this way and how we react to it. Different people are open to different things and the way they act in defense to the threat is also different. But this is based on my own views.

The things I regret, sometimes it's hard to let go. As humans, it's nature to cling on to something dear from the past and hope it will reemerge in a different form. We go as far to creating the form of the past.

We desire being pleasured and we're afraid change might take it away from us.
Most of us stay in this rut until it's too late.

I learned that being hurt isn't something we all look forward to, nor is it something that we all want to experience. But as a reminder to myself and to others, it will eventually change us. For better, for worse. Take a step of precaution never to repeat the same mistake twice, stupidity in any form never helps us.

"Regret is a strong desire to change the past. But why bother when you can't?"

I used to reply, 'I need to feel this way. A punishment for all my wrongdoings.'

Secretly, I needed to feel sorry for myself.

Songs are so much more than something to express your feelings. For myself, it's a message of encouragement.

Below is one of the songs that I dearly hold close to my heart to remind me it's okay to fall sometimes. Forgive and forget.

I used to be able trust people.
Someone abused that trust.
The result is now I don't trust anyone. Everyone lies.

Now it's time to get over this,
Long as it's clear you understand,
That I will never trust a single thing you say again

Hope For Every Fallen Man (Acoustic)
Relient K

As you push it up through the soil,
I will shake your filthy hand.
You may be dead to me but that don't mean we can't be friends.
Now it's time to get over this,
Long as it's clear you understand,
That I will never trust a single thing you say again.

You stole so much from me and there is nothing left to take,
Save a hard learned lesson on how to not make the same mistake.
And you may be delirious but that is something that will fade,
After you confess that this mess is all something that you made.

Oh, because the judge of you is someone I could never be,
Is why you should thank the Lord that it is Him, and it's not me.

But don't give up, it's not the end.
There's hope for every fallen man,
To pick themselves up when they think they can,
Because with every passing second comes a second chance

Take a good look at yourself and know,
You've got yourself ways to go.
But difficult is not impossible,
You can take back all the lost control.
Take a good look at yourself and see,
You'll emerge eventually.
As long as your heart's not too far gone,
From the only thing that can save you from yourself...

Forgiveness can be given when you think it can,
'cause with every passing second comes a second chance.

Above all.
It shows we can overcome these things if we really want to.

I'm tired of being a burden to myself.
I'm tired of being a burden to others.
I'm tired of being a bystander.
I'm tired of being emotionless.
I'm tired of trying to be what I am not.
I'm tired of trying to please everyone.
I'm tired of seeing my friends hurt each other.
I'm tired of seeing things I know I can change for the better.
I'm tired of hurting the ones I love.

Life and history
Repeat and I
Will see visions vividly
Of how everything will end the same
Is this everything that you've hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
Well I want it to be
If the real point is seen.

Most of all.
I'm tired seeing myself fail repeatedly to stay faithful to my Lord and Saviour.

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything's for you
My heart is open
And willing
So take it

I'm ready.

Whats past is the past.

For a time I thought there was a thief among us
I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit
The smoke it cleared into my disbelief
There was no thief
'Cuz it was me that lost you

There was no thief
'Cuz it was me that lost you

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
And I understand why you wouldn't want to
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid 'cuz you were so much better than me

I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shinin'

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid 'cuz you were so much better than me

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back...

----------------
Listening to: Relient K - There Was No Thief

Unbreakable

Are you accused or beaten down?
Want to dream again? Reach your destiny?
DO NOT BE AFRAID.
Faith is moving without knowing.
No one can touch you, nothing can stop you.
You are UNBREAKABLE.

All you need to do -- is trust

Something we should all remember.

http://www.iamunbreakable.com

Teaser Pictures

So darn worth the price.

an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson

       "What I'm doing now," he continued, his eyes still closed, "is detaching myself from the experience."
        Detaching yourself?
        "Yes. Detaching myself. And this is important-not for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach."
        He opened his eyes. He exhaled. "You know what the Buddhists say? Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent."
        But wait, I said. Aren't you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?
        "Yes."
        Well, how can you do that if you're detached?
        "Ah. you're thinking, Mitch.But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."
        I'm lost.
        "Take any emotion-love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of pain, you're afraid of the grief, you're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
        "But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then you can say, "all right. I've experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."
         Morrie stopped and looked at me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.
         "I know you think this is just about dying," he said. "But it's just like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
        Morrie talked about his most fearful moments, when he felt his chest locked in heaving surges or when wasn't sure where his next breath would come from. These were horrifying times, he said, and his first emotions were horror, fear, anxiety. But once he recognized the feel of these emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain-then he was able to say, "Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away."
         I thought about how often this was needed in everyday lift. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let these tears come out because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen of the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.
        Morrie's approach was exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucets. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "All right, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is."
        Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel completely-but eventually be able to say, "All right, it was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I'm going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well."
        "Detach." Morrie said again.

Passage from 'tuesdays with Morrie', author, Mitch Albom.

An amazing, and inspirational book. Wonderful life lessons through the eyes of a college professor, Morrie Schwartz.

 

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

Again.

5 things found in my bag
-brochure
-maps
-folders with documents
-receipt
-kinokuniya magazine

5 things found in my wallet
-ID
-sweeney todd tickets
-switchfoot ticket. (;
-710?
-guitar picks

5 favourite things in my room
-my 3 guitars
-air cond
-bed.
-mp3 player turn radio
-DSLR

5 things I always wanted to do
-Know what I want
-Miss call every person on my contact list (only called 40% xD)
-tour the world
-Cycle around Malaysia
-Find that certain someone. (;

5 things I'm currently into
-Chor Dai Di
-Laughing
-Burnout
-Doing nothing
-Not looking forward to tuesday

List out the top 5 presents you wish for
-Travel Around the World
-No SPM?
-someone special. (:
-A band!
-Be spiderman. =DDD

The person who tagged you is: Chew Aileen
Your 5 impressions of him/her:
-So getting braces
-Ke-juggling-ness
-lucky person who gets to play for an audience
-crazy hyper
-Shorter than meeeeeee =DDD

Most memorable things he/she has give/done to you:
Quiksilver revolution tour. =)

If he/she becomes my lover, you will:
She'll eat the stuff I don't want. She will agree to buy food. =DD

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
She didn't do a good job at picking good food. xD

Pass the quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you
-This is just getting boring.

Bagged and Tagged again.

5 things found in my bag

(I don't have a bag so I'll search the pockets of my pants instead)
-Nokia headsets
-My handphone =DDD
-Wallet
-Keys to noneofyourbeeswax
-A leprechaun

5 things found in my wallet
-Guitar picks
-Switchfoot ticket
-IC Contoh xD
-40 Cents in total
-Receipts

5 favourite things in my room
-Guitar
-My egg shaking thing. ;D
-Porcelain throne.
-Bed
-My amazingly cool (as old as me) orchestra CD collection

5 things I always wanted to do.
-Start doing my homework.
-Kids. xD
-Start a band and tour the world
-Yes. Tour the world again.
-Retire with lots of money at the age of 20! =D

5 things I'm currently into
-Switchfoot, switchfoot and more switchfoot. =D
-Mandarin oranges
-(Oh my goodness) Add maths.
-evil schemes to get out of the house
-Talking. ;D

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:
1. Magical fridge that restocks food.
2. To skip SPM. ;_;
3. Migrate to whoknowswhere
4. To flyyyyyy. =DD
5. I wish I knew what I wanted. =/

The person who tagged you is: Lauren Chia Yan Hong

Your 5 impressions of him/her:
1. Short stuff. (;
2. Pinkcess
3. She plays the guitar, awesomely
4. Her and Suteng are stuck together like two peas in a pod. =D
5. camwhore.

Most memorable things he/she has give/done to you:
Let me mash cake into her face. Hehe.

If he/she becomes my lover, you will:
Toss and turn in my grave

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
She becomes my lover? xD Or maybe when we just fight over stupid things. =D We wouldn't be enemies for very long though. Haha

Pass the quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
Elisa Tan (Elyssaaa. (; )
Ruth Choy! (Blog darnit.)
Aileen (Imagine this. :D)
BenJ. (Before you leave you gotta do this. =D )
Lauren Chia. (Do again. xD)

toofhctiws

Some say a picture is worth a thousand words.

If that were true, guess I wouldn't need to blog anymore! ;P

Well, pictures up first.More later. =)

Original CDs that I own.

Li Hsien got them signed for me. Thanks so much! ;P

Edit: Zhen told me Jon's signature was supposed to be where I labeled Jerome. -_-

Inside Oh! Gravity.

Oh! Gravity, Live at KL Convention Centre

Darn sweet poster/ lyrics booklet

Oh! Gravity, why can't we seem to keep it together? =/

Edit: Switchfoot Tees!

Front

Back

So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray, to be Only Yours, I pray, to be Only Yours.

Cause I know that You're my Only Hope.

Currently listening to - The Shadow Proves the Sunshine; Switchfoot

The world is a terrible place.

Discrimination.
Poverty.

Peer Pressure.
Conformity.

Discontent.
Lust.
Corruption.

Fear.
Hunger.

Anger. Hatred.
Sadness.

Violence.

We should have been destroyed long ago.

Right now, I can't help but feel helpless.

Maybe time can't heal everything.

But I'm not ready. I'm not ready to lose everything.

Lord, I ask again, I plead.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

The best christmas present of all

Of course, God had sent his Son down to earth, and he was crucified. His crucification led to all of us being able to freely talk to God and as well cleanse us from our sins.

Christmas is of course, the birthday of our Lord, Jesus Christ! Happy Birthday!

And why this year's christmas present is the best out of all my 16 years?

Switchfoot is coming to Malaysia!

THANK YOU GOD!

Saturday, February 2
Venue TBD*
Kuala Lampur, Malaysia
On sale: January 1
Ticket info coming soon!

Oh noes. I might have to skip BB. =X

But I can't help being so freggin excited. =DDD


This is definitely on my to do list. Or my to GO list.

I hope to see some familiar faces there!

ohmyfreggingosh

Picture of the Day

Really stunned^ ^Elizabeth

This little girl just came screaming and hugged me.

Which reminds me. VBS is soon.


There are going to be a lot more kids like this one. Or worse. Kids that beat you.

I wonder thats what raising kids is all about, kids that hug you, beat you, scream at you, cry with you (cause you're so stressed).

Oh well, when the time comes, I'll probably know. =D

In the meantime, there's just about enough kids to keep a bunch of youths busy for our church's VBS this year.

Breakthrough

Among all expressions, the one I adore most is the sight of a smile. It is contagious, self-gratifying, best of all, a gift, that is free.

Sometimes I think
Like all I ever do
Is ask for things
Until I ask too much of you
But that's not the way (that's not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
But something's got to give
Yeah, something's got to

What brings a smile?

In my opinion, it is to give. To hope, to dream, to sacrifice, to empower others.

I want to give.

No one told me
How bad I need you (need you)
But I somehow arrived
To that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want
All you have to offer (to offer)
So I offer myself and I'll just give until there's nothing else

Thats what I'll do. I'll give.

Yeah I'll give give give (until there's nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give

I believe thats my ambition, to help and give.



Thank you, God.

Hope and Desires

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless.

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

Friend And Acquaintance
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

30, 60 Minutes worth of your time

Just before you watch this, make sure there is absolutely nothing to disturb you within this period of time.


Jennifer Lin, 14 (2004) musical prodigy. (Piano)




Sirena Huang, 11 (2006) musical prodigy. (Violin)

I Want You To Know

And day lights, craving
Sunshine on this frozen heart
I am wishing you well
Wondering how you are

If you and I are going under
Maybe we can both recover
And find forgiveness for each other
Even if this is goodbye

And time heals
But these scars keep on tearing us apart
And sometimes ending is the only place to start

If you and I are going under (going under)
Maybe we can both recover (we can recover)
And find forgiveness for each other
Even if this is goodbye

Is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye...

If you and I are going under
Maybe we can both recover
And find forgiveness for each other
Even if

If what we had is really over
If fate is out there we discover
Let's find forgiveness for each other
Even if this is goodbye

Lifehouse - If This Is Goodbye

Insensitivity

You know the truth, you found out. I told myself to let it go.

All I wanted for you was to aknowledge me as a friend. I understand you have your issues, I try to help. Maybe I shouldn't, since it usually ends abruptly, or silently, never pleasantly.

I've known you not for too long, but long enough for you to know me as well. But it doesn't seem to matter when all I can do is stand in the the sidelines and watch you crash.

I've tried and I've tried. I apologised many times.

I say things I don't realize it meant something. Please don't hate me for that.

I want to give up.

I want to start over move on.





But I don't think we need to until you want too as well.